The Deep Exhale Project

A Daily Ritual for Collective Calm

Greetings friends, I’ve just returned from Lake Forest College in Lake Forest, Illinois where I had the good fortune to give a talk to students and faculty about:

1. How as humans, we have a hard time coping with pain and suffering

2. How, unlike other mammals in the wild, we discharge our pain and suffering by scapegoating others,

3. How we can replace our scapegoating habits by using co-regulation practices like singing and chanting to transform our suffering into meaning

4. And, how the first basic, simple, easily repeatable practice we should start with is Belly breathing.

Let me explain.

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This is a time of great adversity, stress and strife in the United States, so now more than ever. Increasingly, people can’t afford to buy a home, are living paycheck to paycheck and are worried that their access to health insurance will be on the chopping block.

I personally know a few folks who lead nonprofit organizations who would like to provide deep health and wellness work for their team and their constituents but are too afraid that the Trump administration might cut funding if they do. (And as you can imagine, this has severely impacted my ability to work with them.)

The Trump administration has already cut billions in funding for state health services. This is adding stress on communities that have already been chronically maxed out for some time now.

Because of all this stress, the environment we now find ourselves in is ripe for scapegoating. Scapegoating is now probable and also highly contagious because of its capacity to anesthetize and temporarily numb pain.

So it is imperative for tightly knit communities to start practicing basic habits that help us calm down our nervous systems, root down, and gather the resources necessary to fight for a world where we treat ourselves and each other with care and compassion.

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Introducing The Deep Exhale Project

Polyvagal theory and other somatic based therapies demonstrate that singing together helps can human beings co-regulate their nervous systems and move to a state of calm.

According to Dr. Stephen Porges, the reason for this is simple-yet-unexpected: singing requires slow exhalations.

In The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory, he writes “slow exhalations calm autonomic state by increasing the impact of ventral vagal pathways of the heart.” It slows down the heart rate, tunes the ears for listening and promotes a calm physiological state.

When done intentionally, slow exhalations help us move from a state of fight-or-flight to a state of calm and deep presence.

Being able to remain in the present moment even while stressed is crucial especially now.

In their Book ‘Scarcity: The New Science of Having Less And How It Defines Our Lives,’ Professors Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir show how scarcity can lead to tunneling, a process by which we focus on one thing to the detriment of others. Consider a fireman whose one and only goal is to get to a fire quickly. This can be a good thing but if it crowds out all other considerations like wearing a seatbelt on the way to the fire, it can be a bad thing and lead to an accident.

Now, imagine this on the level of the human nervous system and how it applies to our social and political climate today.

A person receives news that their grant will be on the chopping block. They are responsible for the salaries of thousands of employees and programming that helps thousands of people in need of health and human services.

Immediately, their nervous system goes into fight-or-flight. Their pupils begin to dilate, their breath becomes shallow, anxiety and dread fills them and their thoughts begin to ruminate.

When their employees find out, unless they’ve been practicing getting command of their nervous systems, they too will go into fight-or-flight. So too will the communities they serve. Without a stop-gap measure, this will lead to tunnel vision and the stress will be so overwhelming that the amount of choices they can even perceive as available will diminish.

This is the point where our species starts seeking coping mechanisms to discharge the pain and suffering.

Salves can appear in the form of alcohol addiction, drug addiction, or even doom scrolling, all of which temporarily satiate dopamine cravings while, if continued, will destroying receptors over time.

And, given that so much social media is designed to produce outrage — and given that the man who owns X is addicted to the platform — it’s not difficult to imagine the path from a fight-or-flight nervous system response without a way discharge it healthily to pent up dense energy which becomes resentment, bitterness, and self-righteousness and which overtime festers into hatred of people across the political aisle — or groups of people who have historically suffered as scapegoats in times of scarcity.

This is already happening now, one need only tune into the news on a daily basis.

French Philosopher René Girard called this the mechanism “the process by which a community transfers its internal tensions… onto a single victim, whose expulsion or death brings temporary peace.”

To be clear, fight-or-flight is a normal nervous system adaptation we evolved in the jungle and savannah. It is often necessary and healthy to protect us from harm.

The problem is when we get stuck in fight-or-flight (or freeze) and can’t come back to the present moment and move forward. We remain stuck in scarcity mode, deathly afraid of the past or anxiously projecting into the future.

In these situations we need a release valve to help us come back to the here and now, so that we can make choices from a place of clarity and strength not from a place of burnout.

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A simple nervous system practice we can all start doing is a gift I received from my vocal coach. It’s called Belly breathing.

Belly breathing — or breathing from the diaphragm — helps us recenter, soften, and calm down our nervous system in times of overwhelm. And it works best when shared and practiced with others who are already in your tight-knit community.

I need to reiterate that last point: Belly breathing is not just for you as an individual. It scales up when we do it in community.

As human beings, we are social creatures and belly breathing is a social activity.

Doing it by yourself is a good start but even more important is getting your family and friends to do it and regularly checking in with them to see how the practice is helping them reduce anxiety and gain peace of mind.

Encouragement and regular check-ins helps create what author and researcher Damon Centola calls “redundancy.”

In his book Change: How to Make Big Things Happen, he writes that redundancy makes people accountable and “strengthens social coordination on the new behavior,” ultimately leading to greater adoption. This creates resiliency within individuals and communities.

The other cool thing about belly breathing is it doesn’t cost you anything. As Homo Sapiens we all have access to this 300-million year old social technology and it can make all the difference between moving through times of difficulty with a command of our emotions and getting carried away by them.

So my invitation to you is for you to join me in practicing this on a regular basis and encourage others in your communities to do the same.

I’m calling this The Deep Exhale Project and inviting us all to commit to 3 breath drops per day. I recommend doing it before a regular routine you already have, like drinking your coffee or checking your email or opening up your computer.That way it’s already tied up with a habit you’ve already adopted.

More details are below and here’s a quick video and article on belly breathing and why its so effective in helping us remain calm. Welcome to The Deep Exhale Project!

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The Deep Exhale Project

A simple ritual for collective calm

What it is:
The Deep Exhale is a 3-breath belly breathing practice designed to help you return to center, soften your body, and reset your nervous system. It works best when shared with others in your community.

The 3-Breath Drop:

1. Inhale slowly through your nose, letting your belly expand like a balloon.

2. Exhale gently through your mouth, with a soft sigh.

3. Repeat two more times, feeling your belly rise and fall.

No forcing. No fixing. Just feeling.

Why this works:
This practice engages your parasympathetic nervous system (your rest-and-digest mode), shifting you out of stress and into a state of calm presence. When practiced in community, it becomes a powerful tool for co-regulation.

The Invitation:
Try this for 3 days. Each day, before opening up your computer, take a moment to do the 3-Breath Drop. After each round, notice:
- What physical sensations shifted in my body?
- What emotional feelings shifted in my heart?
- Who in my life can benefit from this too?

Share this post with 2 people. Breathe together. Reflect together. This is how we shift culture: one breath at a time.

Question - I’d love to hear how belly breathing is going for you. Let me know in the comments and let’s brainstorm about how we can spread this to our communities. 👇

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This spreads the word and keeps me writing content that will help grow a resiliency project rooted in the principles of Theory of Enchantment — not just for individuals but for all communities everywhere.

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